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When Loving Him Hurts

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When Loving Him Hurts – a unique guide book that takes you through the complex web of domestic abuse, avoiding victim-based myths and showing women just how to take back their power

Ask any woman whether a man has ever hurt her, and the answer in all probability will be a resounding Yes. Yet despite women’s abuse being one of the most topical and written about subjects today, there are still many myths and preconceptions surrounding the subject. 

When Loving Him Hurts breaks open victim-based myths on domestic abuse, helping the reader to identify and accept her situation of abuse and subsequently empower her to learn the art of the sacred No, reclaiming self-esteem and healing through life-changing, creative expression. 


With real life stories from well know psychotherapist Sue Hickey’s patients, the book profiles the abused woman as well as the men who abuse them, the abuser, revealing how a woman could possibly find herself in an abusive relationship as well as how the abuser doesn’t necessarily understand what he is doing and more often than not he is living semi-consciously. 


Written specifically for wounded women, by two women who are all too familiar with the silent and invisible stain of abuse that marks the world we live in, this unique guide discuss how women can begin to heal themselves by examining their own answers and developing their own understanding of the abusive pattern, also developing the skills required to manage oneself in a relationship and beginning the journey of healing. 

About the Authors

Sue Hickey is a well-known and respected Johannesburg-based therapist who has been in private practice for over twenty-five years. She has worked with and achieved astounding results in hundreds of women’s lives who, desperately unhappy in their relationships due to varying degrees of abuse, sought help from her. Due to the overwhelming demand, Hickey started a support group for women in abusive relationships and worked with co-author Philippa Sklaar as a patient and survivor of abuse. 

The lessons learnt from the women in group therapy over the years give depth and context to the content in When Loving Him Hurts.


Phillipa Sklaar has been in three abusive marriages. In When Loving Him Hurts, she bravely describes the pain and shame she experienced in her relationships as well as her long road to healing. “Sue invited me to assist her in the writing of this book to share my experiences. Like the recovering alcoholic who is prepared to disclose her story, I believe that my healing comes through sharing mine.” 

Parameters of Book:
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Editors: Sue Hickey and Phillipa Sklaar
ISBN: 9781920601560
E-book ISBN:  
Size (mm): 235x155mm
Pages: 280pp
Format: Paperback
Colour: Black and White
Rights: South African
Language: English
Publication Date: July 2015
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